Hey, I'm Back!!!

Oh, I know...where have I been!! It's a good thing I don't depend on this for my income, right? Well, it's been a bit of a crazy time the past, um, 6 months, but I'm back and going to work on being a little more consistent....but here's what's really sparked me today...

  To all fellow mothers out there, and hell, even aunts and cousins...have you seen the new doll rage out there? Monster High dolls are what I'm talking about, and while I am generally ok with the unusual, I was a definitely disturbed when I saw one. This Saturday is my nieces 7th birthday, and  I'm one for getting whatever it is she wants..toys, clothes, whatever...and when my sister told me about the Monster High dolls, I thought "Oh, cute".  Then I saw one, in person, and let me assure you my outrage has nothing to do with the theme of the dolls. It has to do with the fact that they look emaciated. Yes, I said emaciated. The overly large head starts it, and even the shaping of the body (which is of course stylized) that  you can see because of the skimpy clothing (not quite as outraged about that, but still disturbed). The whole appearance of it just brought to mind images of someone who was suffering from an eating disorder, which needless to say is very upsetting.

 Now, I'm sure that some people would say that I'm being ridiculous, that it's a toy, and harmless...but really, is this the image we want our daughters, nieces, cousins, or any child to be influenced by? Because whether or not we believe it, they will be. I mean, who wasn't influenced by Barbie? At least a little?

 So I refuse to buy one..it's hard enough being an adult who doesn't fit into what society calls the "norm" of body shape and size, there is no way in hell I'm going to contribute to it for a seven year old...and while there are people out there who may say it doesn't matter, I'm not going to take any chances that it could.

Bon Voyage!

We leaving today for vacation. Yes, vacation. A cruise actually. (which I am still struggling with, "What if I want to leave?" and "how enviromentally unfriendly is that ?") So I've been up since about 3:30. Why, you ask? First I heard my dad coughing. Then I felt sick to my stomach and almost had myself convinced I had the dreaded stomach bug. Then I worried about how I couldn't travel if I was sick. But since I ate yucky yesterday I googled acid reflux. Bingo! Out came the chammomile tea........and then I thought..oohhh I can catch up on some of the blogs I like to read. Hence the link to one of my newest favorites...and the latest entry there...Is Any Mommy Out there?  .

 Enjoy! And tune in next week for my adventures in cruising......

Coping Mechanism

A funny thing just happened...not funny haha but funny, like "Oh, ok". I was just snacking out on some oreos..mini ones...but I wasn't really hungry..just looking for something..then I checked my email and started reading this great post from  Medicinal Marzipan. Then I stopped and asked myself what was really going on. You see, I'm not physically  hungry. I'm actually feeling a little anxious. My dad (he's 82) lives with us and over the weekend he had a nosebleed that lasted an hour. Then today he had two more and luckily my sister was here and could take him to the hospital (both my boys were home and hubby working). But even though I trust her I really wanted my husband to go up to the hospital after work, and he basically told me no, that my sister could handle it. Not the answer I wanted to hear. So there I was, eating to help ease the anxiety when (non)coincidentally I come upon an email that reminds me I am on the intuitive eating journey, and maybe I should look at what is really going on. But also not to beat myself up about eating to ease the anxiety. And then I thought, I'll just blog it! Because writing really helps me when I'm feeling things I'm not sure what to do with. It's my one of my favorite coping mechanisms.  What's your favorite coping mechanism?

Jumping off point

 I've just recently jumped off the dieting hamster wheel. It all started when I came across an article in The Magazine of Yoga, which led me to the fabulous Anna Guest-Jelley and Curvy Yoga. At the site there was talk about a book titled Health at Every Size by Linda Bacon. At first I was perplexed and concerned about the  Health at Every Size (HAES) concept, which I'm sure was from years of being on, you know, diets. And also from being told I was unhealthy because of my weight. And from not meeting the American cultures standards of what a beautiful woman/girl should look like.  I thought, "Omg, what are these people talking about...it's just an excuse to not make an effort." But I couldn't stop thinking about it. Any of it. For days. I kept thinking about what it would feel to not be on a diet. To eat foods I like without guilt. To be able to accept and maybe even love my body as it is. Now. Not when I weigh ____lbs, or when it looked the way the culture I live in thinks it should.
 Then came the paradigm shift. I had to go back for a second mammogram and ultrasound. As I lay on the table after the ultrasound, waiting for the tech to get back to me, I thought about how I've never liked my breasts. Ever. I thought about all that negative energy that I've been sending to them (and the rest of my body), all these years and how that has affected my body, mind and spirit. I thought about my children and my husband, and how they would be affected if something happened to me. I asked God (higher power, universe, whatever it is that's out there) to help me be able to handle whatever was coming my way. The tech came back in, told me everything was ok and to make sure I came  back in a year for my annual mammogram. At that moment I made the decision and a promise to treat myself better. Physically, mentally, emotionally and spiritually. Period. To do that I had to stop dieting. It wasn't working. I could barely follow an "eating"or "diet" program and was not losing any weight.  The only thing I achieved was self loathing. I read Health at Every Size. One of the things it talks about is intuitive eating, which I understood the idea, but needed help getting there. You know, directions. So like a good googler, I googled intuitive eating and found the book Intuitive Eating. I read it. I made the decision to follow the 10 principles that are outlined in that book.
  So the journey has begun, and though there was a beginning there is not necessarily an ending. Just a continuance.

Chance to win an ipad 2!!!

Hey everyone..there are some out there who know what a tech junkie I can be, sooooo I’m posting this to enter a contest  offered by Brad’s Deals at Sweetney! I want to win the white iPad 2! So if you're interested in winning one, just follow the link! Good luck!

Something I learned on the mat.

 This morning my husband said he was taking the boys to work with him (for the morning only!), so I was like "Ah, my chance to get a walk in!". Since it's been awhile, I decided I was going to just walk, not push..make it enjoyable. As I was walking around the lake, another woman came up along side me, and after exchanging a few pleasant words, she began to pass me. And out came the dark side."Should I speed up", I ask myself, "See if I can keep up? Hmph, she thinks she's better, faster. Maybe she is...what's wrong with me? I'm not enough."  Then came (thank goodness) "There's not a damn thing wrong with me, and I am enough...different doesn't make me bad or her better. We're just different."
 This is one of the strongest lessons I have learned on the mat. I have a wonderful teacher whose class I rarely miss. She's always reminding us that being able to do a headstand or lay your face on the floor in a wide leg forward fold does not make one person more enlightened or "better" than another.  We all have our strengths and weaknesses...and all that makes us is different. Not good,bad, more than or less than. Just different.

Here it goes..hey everyone! I've been wanting to blog for quite a while, and after looking at and reading some great blogs, on all different kinds of subjects, including parenthood, yoga, cooking, baking, (yes, they are two different things), body image...I figured if I did  blog, it would have to be somewhat diverse. Even though the blog is called Brown Eyed Yogi, I am, especially in this part of my life, more than just that..I am a wife (to a fabulous husband, lucky me!), a mother to two boys, aged 3.5 and almost 6, a daughter to a father that lives with me (I'm sure you'll be hearing more about him!), a sister (I have 5 sisters), a friend, and a yoga teacher. One of the things I have gained most from blogs is knowing that I'm not alone..people out there have shared their experiences and have been such a help to me, that I hope to someday, pass that along..even if it's just a link to another blog or website.

So here it is, my first post...hmmmm......wonder what will be next...